| List of goals, updated |
[Sep. 23rd, 2007|05:15 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | goals | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
From my list on 43things:
A couple more of these I've "done", some more will hopefully be achievable in the near future.
Number 32 - Get a good job: Well, it might not be fantastic wages at the moment, but my new job in the NHS I believe to be something I'll enjoy and will have good long-term prospects. So I've marked that off with an emphatic Yes!
Number 27- Learn basic first aid: Thanks to the hospital induction training course in resus, and having a good read of the Saint John's Ambulance website I feel I'm pretty well competent with basics in first aid, although hopefully I'll have chance to improve my skills and knowledge in the future to a more advanced level as well.
Number 41 - Get my drinking under control: Despite the couple of heavy nights recently, I do feel they're becoming fewer and further between, and I have a much reduced compulsion to drink so much. I feel this will be even more so when I'm living on my own again away from my family here.
My revised list:
1/ Say yes more
2/ Take up running
3/ Do a skydive
4/ Run a marathon
5/ Have my own dog
6/ See New Order live
7/ Buy a car
8/ Learn the mechanics of a car
9/ Take up Karate
10/ Go to a 2/3 day music festival
11/ Live in a different part of the UK (other than south-west or midlands)
12/ See a solar eclipse
13/ See a lunar eclipse
14/ Get a passport
15/ See the northern lights
16/ See an FA cup final
17/ Scuba dive somewhere nice
18/ Go up in a helicopter
19/ Set my parents up for something special, for all they've done for me at uni
20/ Get my asthma under control
21/ Be more spontaneous and open to new things
22/ Take a train, go someplace random, and just explore that place for a while
23/ Visit Andrew in America
24/ Get back into good contact with old friends, including Lee, Adam, Kathryn
25/ Get the newspaper daily, and be sure to read it all the way through
26/ Write a good CV
27/ Learn basic first aid
28/ See an England international at Wembley
29/ Visit Australia
30/ Visit New Zealand
31/ Apply for jobs and make an interview
32/ Get a good job
33/ Get my own place
34/ Have a more regular sleeping pattern
35/ Organise my finances
36/ Make 5 new friends
37/ Pay off my student loans
38/ Go to the Edinburgh festival
39/ Own A Piece Of Art
40/ See the Le Mans 24 hour race
41/ Get my drinking under control
42/ Lose weight
43/ Do at least 50 crunches a day |
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| 22nd birthday/new job! |
[Sep. 23rd, 2007|04:30 pm] |
Okay it's been a bit long since I've last updated and so much has happened (mainly why I haven't had the chance to update), so this isn't going to be a particularly comprehensive retrospect of the last few weeks.
My birthday was ok, not the best I've ever had though I wouldn't say. Went out the Saturday night before - with Dave, Rach and (her boyfriend) Dan, Claire, Neil and Steven - had a couple of drinks at Dave's, then on to Yates', then Cabot where we met my brother too. The long and short of it though was that typically I ended up getting stupidly drunk and not remembering then what had happened. I remember wandering about town for while after we left the Cabot, before finally getting round to walking home. Then the doubts set in as couldn't remember Dave and Neil, and whether I upset them that night as I have a bad habit of doing when pissed. That wasn't good, and was worrying about that a lot still by the day of my birthday, which took a little of the shine off of it.
Still, it wasn't too bad (and there doesn't seem to have been any real harm done from that night), and had a quiet day in with family. Had an indian meal for tea, then watched Hot Fuzz on DVD in the evening.
Next morning, went up to Alton Towers with Dave, that was a fantastic day out - went on all the main ones twice - Oblivion, Air, Nemesis, Rita, Runaway Mine Train, plus a couple of others. The weather was reasonably good, though got a bit chilly later on in the day.
Went to the pub for Daniel's birthday the following week. Wasn't really looking forward to it for various reasons, but once I got there I had really quite a good evening out there.
Had a phone call one day the next day (4th Sept), from my boss-to-be, Martyn, asking if I could make it to Bath for 2pm. This was about 12:30pm already, so that wasn't going to happen. He got back to me then, saying it didn't matter, but I was going to be able to start work the following Monday. That was great news, as it had been so drawn out already, was good to finally know I could actually get started.
On the first day then, caught the train up to Bath, then the bus from the station to the hospital. Got there about 45 mins too early, so had a cup of tea in the main atrium, before heading off to the introductory session. This was quite cool, everyone seemed friendly enough, and despite having to fill out lots of forms it was quite helpful in learning about the place. Had to leave the tour of the hospital early though, as had an appointment at occupational health at 12pm. Had a quick chat with the doctor, and then was told I'd need a blood test for rubella immunity, as well as a vaccination against hepatitis B. Never had blood taken before, and have never been good with needles, so I laid on the couch while she took the blood. Felt fine when it happened, but as I went to get up just began to feel really ill - as I had done a few times before, most notably when I was sick before my injection in Year 6 at school! Not a conscious thing, but just seems that when I think about them it makes me feel like that. So after taking a lie down to compose myself again, had the Hep B injection and that went fine then.
After that I took lunch, and after that found the que to pick up my ID badge - more by chance than anything. Got chatting to Lyndsey who had also been on the induction, she seemed really nice.
Then went on to my department, where I was shown around again and introduced to everyone. I'm not a fan of starting anew so it's all a bit scary meeting everyone that first day. It all went fine though, spent much of it with my line manager Kathy who took me through induction stuff.
The past couple of weeks then there's been a lot of time spent in my department, either spent watching the scans happening, or going through the departmental induction list of things to do. That's been interspersed with trust induction sessions with everyone else at the education centre, including a session in resus, and my last one was an all-day manual handling session on Friday.
On the whole I've really enjoyed my first two weeks. It's been a bit frustrating at times not really being able to do much on the department, and if there's been nobody to show me what they're doing there's been times when I've just been standing around being bored. But some days when I've finished I just think "wow, I really think I'm going to love working here". I've had a couple of not so good days, but they've been brought on by all the lack of sleep - I get up at 10 to 6 every morning, something I'm definitely not used to! Some mornings I feel really up for it, others I just want to sleep, and the days then seem to go accordingly.
I am looking for accommodation up there - last Saturday I took a look at a place with my parents, would have been ok but all it was was just a tiny room and could have been a bit depressing. My mum looked at another in the week, and actually I very nearly went for it. What I've decided though is that the best thing to do though is probably spend some time up in the hospital accommodation that they have - it's available short-term only, but I imagine it would be a very good way to meet new people that also work in the hospital (seeing as my department is so small and closed off). Hopefully I will find out about that in the next couple of days if/when I can move in.
So then, this weekend's been ok. Went out Friday night for Rich's birthday, played a couple of games of 10-pin bowling - scored a strike first shot (that's never happened before!), but then didn't do all that great. Had a couple of drinks there, then went on to Cabot for a couple more. Was really quiet there though, and Rich was already getting very drunk, so me and Dave said our goodbyes and I was home by half 11.
Yesterday was pretty usual, got my hair cut (finally) in the afternoon. Bit short but never mind!
And today is a typical Sunday.... |
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| uneventful week |
[Aug. 19th, 2007|10:36 pm] |
Haven't really been up to much, largely due to the fact I've not had the money to have done so. Not heard anything more from Bath, but presumably that's the formality of waiting for the clearance with the forms I've filled in - I keep worrying in case it falls through, but I can't see any logical reason why it should. Just that it's taken me this long to work something out, it would be incredibly shit if it went wrong now.
Enough about that though. My dad's been off work this week so it's been difficult to get anything too useful done. Sorted my room out a little earlier in the week, paid off my credit card on Thursday - which gave me a good excuse to walk to town in the sunny weather, though it's turned cold and cloudy again this weekend.
Stayed in again this weekend both Friday and Saturday nights, though admittedly I've stayed up til 3am with a few drinks on both nights. So I'm really quite tired today, and my eyes are once again sore from where I've been rubbing them. Not good.
Was asked by Steven if I wanted to watch the Chelsea game in the Cabot again, and I was very tempted to just stay at home as I felt so tired, and there were dark black clouds so it seemed it was inevitable that I'd get soaked. I'm glad I went though - fortunately it stayed dry too. Gave me some good exercise, and was quite refreshing being out and about.
Got to the pub and realised they've lost their sky subscription, so couldn't watch the game anyway. Played a game of pool with Tim, then just talked for a bit, and met Steven's family when they got there. Resisted the temptation to drink (abstaining for once is probably something I should do more often), stuck with lemonade instead.
Quiet night in then, again. Hopefully by the end of next week I'll be clearer as to what's going on with work. |
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| Where to live, & the meteor shower |
[Aug. 14th, 2007|12:05 am] |
All the time since leaving uni (and even before I left uni really) I have been wanting to get my own place somewhere, and obviously now I've been offered the job that's much closer to becoming than it was a couple of months ago. But now it seems everyone's advising me against doing so - my parents, Dave, random other people too - "why don't I commute?" "there's no way you can afford to have your own place on those wages" "why don't you get a shared place?". So it's put a lot of doubt in me - obviously I need to think a lot about what I'm going to do and whether I can afford, but I could do without people making it difficult for me. I know Dave in particular doesn't want to me to leave Weston, and like Rach said I should feel flattered, but it's always been my plan in life to leave Weston and build a life for myself somewhere else where I can be independent from everyone here - and more than that I just don't want to be tied to this same fucking town all my life.
Again I realise I'm moaning about not a lot, but this should be my be my decision not everyone else trying to railroad their thoughts and opinions on me. And based on just things living with my parents here tonight it would do me good to get away as soon as possible. I need my own independence back and the ability to do what I want and when - something that's a distant memory since I left uni now. And I don't think sharing with random people again is the way ahead either. I don't care if that leaves me with not a lot of cash to spare.
Anyway, aside from that all is well. Rob said he sent on a really good reference to them for me, and I sent on the CRB form today too. So hopefully I should get my contract and confirmation through soon!
Met up with Steven and Tim to watch the Chelsea game at the Cabot - am enjoying the fact the football season has started! Then went to theSummerhouse last night with Rach, Claire and Dave. Was a nice enough evening I guess.
Later on last night then, after trying to look out for meteors - me and my brother decided it'd be great to go out into the country away from all the light pollution crap that you get living here in town, so my brother drove us out there and then, and after finding a lay-by we lay back on the bonnet of his car and watched them there - some of then were amazingly bright. So much better than watching in our garden! We were there for a good 40 minutes or so, and saw quite a few. It was enjoyable to be out though!
On the way there/back, saw loads of different wildlife too in the country roads, including a fox cub, a small deer, something else-possibly a badger, and another fox or deer (we weren't too sure, but it must have been one or the other).
Got quite a bit done today, including the aforementioned CRB form. Could do with a book to read though, I've read pretty much everything I own now, so might head out tomorrow see if I can get something cheap. Want to keep myself occupied and get things done tomorrow if I can. For now I must go to bed. |
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| I have a job! |
[Aug. 11th, 2007|09:04 pm] |
Finally I've managed to get one sorted - and it's one that I really think I'll enjoy and get on well with, so I do feel a vindication for having been as selective as I was when everyone was saying "well why don't you do this?". Plus it's come at a time when I was feeling a bit demoralised over the whole 'interview thing'.
So backtracking a bit - I had my interview in Bath on Tuesday. I did a fair bit of preparation for that - not just preparing what I was going to say about what, but also trying to get my mind right so that I wouldn't be a nervous wreck all the way through like the last interview. That was quite successful, I was much calmer, and far more confident too I guess. My journey involved a good hour-long train journey, plus a fifteen minute bus trip from the station, but as the interview wasn't til 2pm I had plenty of time, and arrived well over an hour early so that gave me a lot of time then to have a cup of tea and go over my notes about what I wanted to cover in my interview. Plus before I went in I sat outside on a bench basically letting me relax a bit, which I feel helped me a lot.
The interview itself I started off pretty nervous and got a bit tongue-tied on the first question, but I overcame that almost immediately once I got the answer out, and I relaxed quite a lot more. It seemed much more of a two-way conversation than the interview I had with the council two weeks before - rather than the generic questions they asked me about my degree, my actual job history etc. Just felt much more laid back, which helped me feel more at ease, and when it came to the answers they just seemed to be covering all the right things that I wanted to.
Afterwards I had a short maths test, that was fine, then I was shown round the department before heading back home. I felt it went well, but as always you don't know who you're up against so I can't say I expected to get the job.
The next day I had to catch an early bus up to Bristol for an interview with the council again for a building control surveyor job, which I wasn't too bothered about really - it was more of a throw-away application, and I wasn't especially expecting to get an interview for it. I don't think it's something I particularly want to do career-wise. Anyway, I was even less nervous when it came to the interview - and that's always a good thing in regards to interviews! I was able to laugh a bit, but I think ultimately it seemed I wasn't quite what they were looking for, and vice-versa too.
Later that evening, I had a phone call from Martyn from the Bath job. he told me that I interviewed "very well", and I was waiting for the "but", but instead he said they'd like to offer me the job! I was almost speechless really, I wasn't expecting it to be settled then and there, and I was just really very happy to have something sorted. My parents were as happy to hear it too - It was a massive confidence boost for me to show I can succeed in an interview- something a couple of weeks ago I thought I couldn't do. So we had champagne that night.
Still not fully confirmed - I'm really hoping Lorenzo gave me a good reference, and I know Rob is away this week so won't be able to send his til Monday at the earliest. But there's no reason why it shouldn't go through. Hopefully if I get confirmation soon then I can get a loan from the bank. I know my mum isn't keen on the idea, but I'd like to move to Bath before I start my job - my mum thinks I should commute for a couple of months before moving up. But I think ultimately I'd be better off, and much happier, moving out as soon as possible. But we'll have to see. I start my job in September so I've a little time to sort things out.
Taking a quiet weekend in this week - my money is very low at the moment, and could do with a bit of a break. Watching the Chelsea game down the pub tomorrow with Steven and Tim, then probably meeting up with the others at the Summerhouse after to celebrate my job. |
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| End of another week |
[Aug. 5th, 2007|09:52 pm] |
Perhaps unsurprisingly it's been another relatively low key end to another week. Had a really crap day on Thursday - I'm not sure why, I was just really pissed off all day and probably a bit depressed. Just tired I suppose. But had to go in to the job centre for 2pm, so I did my usual of walking in and catching the bus back, but it was just all a bit shit really. My mum convinced me to wear a coat, so I did, but it was really hot so if I did it up it was sweltering, but if it wasn't done up it'd be blowing wide open in the wind. So it was just crap little things like that. The interview itself was ok really, but I think Vicky (at the job centre, I know her sister) realised I was a bit down and that with the job searching and stuff. Tasha was there at the same time again too, so we kinda blanked each other (well she did last time I saw her so is pointless me trying to make like I noticed her again)
Friday was much better, intended to take a weekend off from town, but sure enough I had a text from Neil - and that evening I got the tenner back I lent Daniel, so I thought I might as well as hadn't seen him in a while. The night itself was pleasant enough - it was his friend Stef's birthday, so it was us plus her friends, although by about 1am it was just me and Neil in the Cabot. Saw loads more different people I knew from Worle and Churchill. We stayed til 3am, then walked back home. Ended up talking for ages at the end of Mead Vale too, quite a deep conversation about things in general. So I didn't get in til quarter to five - my mum was in the kitchen at the time, making herself a drink, which was quite a surprise when it was as late as it was to see the kitchen light on!
I did sleep reasonably well though, so I wasn't too tired yesterday. But still I took it really quite easy, and before long it was early evening. For a change I wasn't invited out by anyone, and I very much doubt I'd have done so even if I had. So I spent most the evening reading my book about Pulp, and listening to their stuff at the same time, whilst having a few drinks.
Today's been similarly uneventful. Watched the F1, then went round Dave's the watch the Community Shield - Manchester United beating Chelsea on penalties. Then finished reading the pulp book this evening at home.
Not got a great deal more to add. Got my 2 interviews this week, so it'll be interesting to see how they go. |
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| A good couple of days |
[Aug. 1st, 2007|10:08 pm] |
Met up with Steven last night - walked into town as it was pretty warm and sunny still - and watched the new Transformers film. Quite enjoyed it actually - was what I expected I guess, very cheesey, very action-packed, and it was actually very faithful to the originals as I remember them being, which is a good thing. Afterwards we had a couple of drinks in Wetherspoons', which was nice - stayed til gone last orders at gone 12am, then I walked back so I got home at just gone 1am.
Slept a bit too well though, got up at about 1pm and felt very lethargic - as if I'd had more than the two pints that I'd had. Still, I managed to get a job application done this afternoon. Had a barbeque with the family this evening, as it's still sunny! And then just filled in another job app - my second today!
My treat for doing that then is that I've downloaded some Pulp sessions, as I'm currently reading a book about their history (there's a lot of it), so it's good to put the sound to the song names that are mentioned. |
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| Here comes the sun.. |
[Jul. 31st, 2007|04:10 pm] |
..not before time! Not been out the house yet but it's a little less depressing than it's been. Supposed to last at least until the weekend so got my fingers crossed...
Have another interview next week - for Bristol Council again, building controls this time - not sure about the credibility of my application as it's one I applied to off the cuff, but hey who knows. That's on Tuesday, the day after my NHS one.
Heard back finally about my last one - not surprised that I didn't get a job, but still it's a bit of a dent to have it in writing. Not too bad about it, not sure it's really the kind of thing I wanted to do anyway. I just need to get it together for next Monday though.
There's a few more jobs going that I was going to apply to yesterday - not surprisingly it didn't happen, and neither did it happen this morning either. Then my brother was on the PC for ages, and before I could grab it afterwards my sister was on it. Getting a bit pissing annoying now that my sister's broken up for the summer now too, whenever I'm on here I feel a bit guilty about holding up the others. But I can rarely get on here after about 9pm as my brother'll be on it all night. And whenever I come down after waking up these days my sister is on here. I need my own fucking computer back. But to do that I need money, from a job. Arrrghh!!
Gonna go watch the new Transformers film tonight with Steven, used to love them when I was a kid so hopefully it'll be good fun! Kinda need something less-heavy to do I think, I spend way too much time at home these days, and whenever I'm not I'm getting pissed up in town. Hmm. |
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| Not a bad weekend |
[Jul. 29th, 2007|08:17 pm] |
Watched the footie yesterday - Weston vs a Bristol Rovers XI, met Steven, Tim and Tim's son Rob at the ground. Daniel was there too with a few from the Nightjar, but it was a little awkard for some reason. The first half of the game itself was pretty good, the second half was a bit dull though.
After some lunch at home I met up with Steven and Tim again and had a few drinks in the Regency pub in town. Dave was out too, with Kevin, and they dropped in for a bit but weren't all that happy with the low-key atmosphere in there so they went on to the Cabot soon after. Steven and I joined them there half an hour later, and it was a reasonably good night there. Daniel was there again too, very drunk though to the point where I had to go out and help him find a taxi to make his way back. I lent him a tenner, which I couldn't really afford (probably too generous for my own good sometimes), and together with the money I spent on drinks I probably spent too much.
Was going to walk back at the end of the night, but on our way we passed Dave and Kevin - who'd left the Cabot for home a good hour before - and they were waiting still for a taxi! I told them it was ridiculous as you can always get one outside Tesco - which I did, picking them up on the way.
Today's been the typical Sunday, but I did get a pretty good night's sleep in though so I've been in a reasonably good mood. |
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| update |
[Jul. 27th, 2007|08:47 pm] |
Am really missing my own PC, which explains why I've not been posting here so much recently - I just don't get the time or privacy to update on this computer of my parents'. Still, things could be worse I guess, lets see if I can remember what's happened since I last updated.
- Went out the Saturday before last (14th) with Steven, Ceris, and Ceris' friend. Was actually quite a pleasant evening, the rain held off (which I'll come onto in a bit..), and was quite a laid back, non-eventful night; which makes a good change. Ended up in the Cabot as usual, although apart from Kathryn I didn't run into anybody else I knew that normally hangs out there on a Saturday night.
- And then I must mention the rain of course, seeing as it's been the wettest UK summer on record. It's just been almost relentless, there's been a couple of nice days when it's been warm and sunny, but never more than one or two days at a time if that, before the dark clouds cut across the sky again and start pelting down their raindrops on us! We're lucky where we are though, not being any rivers or anything, as much of the rest of the country have had some pretty bad flooding. Started off with Hull, Doncaster and much of the rest of Yorkshire being the worst off, before spreading to the midlands and most recently Gloucester and Tewksbury having been the concentrates of much TV news coverage. Fingers crossed though it's getting a little better than it has been, it's nearly August now so we could do with a bit of good weather, even if it is a British summer!
- Had my interview in Bristol last Friday. Found the place ok, but got absolutely drenched on my way from the station in the torrential rain. I did have a little time to dry off in the reception area, but it wasn't the best of times to get absolutely soaked. I don't think the interview itself went particularly well, I was waaay too nervous, and I couldn't really settle down like I think I did in my last one with Air Traffic Control, or even in my viva say. I was quite happy with some of my answers, but I don't know really, I don't think I was in the right mood - if it was a couple of days earlier I think I would have been ok. I wasn't giving especially short answers I don't think, but it ended much sooner than I expected and threw me off guard a little bit. I suppose I was just expecting many more questions. I haven't heard back yet, but they were interviewing people this week too so I can't read too much into that. At the end then I walked back to the station and didn't really care then that I was getting even more soaked as I just wanted to get back home.
- The queen was in Weston that same day, and as my mum was going down to the end of the road I thought I'd go along too. Only saw her for a couple of seconds as we weren't in the best of positions, but hey.
- Have had some quite bizarre dreams recently, one in particular that was quite vivid. A few random people I know were up these ladders, some of which had their bottom resting on the sides of the other ladders, and all were up on the roof of my house. As I was coming down of the roof I felt really giddy and slipped, and was left leaning head first off the edge of the roof with the bottom rungs of two of the ladders in each of my hands - basically if I were to let go then the whole lot would fall. It was like that for a few seconds, before I was able to pull myself back up and put the ladders back in place - all without the people up them really noticing. Which has some kind of meaning to me. Then as I went to go down I was swinging off this lower ladder and subsequently landed in this thorn bush. As I made my way back in the house I had these massive thorns - curved and about the size of the palm of a hand (very much like the raptor claws in Jurassic Park) - and they were sticking into my legs, about eight of them and much blood on my legs. As I pulled them out then the blood flowed more and more, and was basically reminiscent of my days of self-harm.
- Back to reality though, I have been offered another job - for the NHS in Bath, which I would quite like to do. So that's a good positive on the job front, though I don't want to get my hopes up too much. It's a week on Monday.
- Quite looking forward to the weekend - probably going to see Weston play Rovers tomorrow, though not the main Rovers team. And probably out in the evening, not sure I can afford it but will see.
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| In good spirits |
[Jul. 11th, 2007|04:58 pm] |
I've managed to carry through the high I was on at the weekend through into this week, and it's been great! I knew it had to come sometime after what has been a good 2/3 weeks on a low (and likewise I realise that sometime I'll crash back into a low again, but I'm just enjoying this while it lasts.
I've managed to get back into my exercise regime and a decent diet, which is also a good sign.
Daniel texted me Monday night inviting me over the Nightjar for a pint. I really didn't want to go to be honest, especially not to the Nightjar. But I had avoided it already once in the last couple of weeks, so I decided I probably should go and repair relations with him since that fateful New Year's Eve when I saw him last (when I more or less insulted him in my hideously drunk state that I was in). It was pretty quiet when I got there to be honest, which made me feel a little better. Then Daniel had the idea that he really fancied going into town that evening. I was a bit more reluctant - I fancied it, but wasn't sure if I could afford it really and given past nights out with Daniel I had to question whether it was really a good idea.
However, I decided I had nothing to really lose, and my parents were surprisingly laid back about it when I came back to let them know we were going out to town. We managed to get a lift in then, from some bloke Daniel knows at the pub, which was fortunate because at that moment in time the heavens opened with a torrent of rain crashing out the skies! So it was a case of legging it to his car, and then legging it to the nearest pub once we got into town.
We knew it was a Monday night, and really awful weather, but given the fact we live in a relatively major holiday resort and it is July we thought town would be just a little busier at just after 11pm than it was. But it was a struggle to find anywhere that was even open! Sands and Destiny were open, but devoid of people and still charging entry! We had a pint in Madisons - there were a few others in there, but mostly "chav" types... So we then went to Cabot sports bar, that was fortunately open til 1am although there were only about 8 other people there. Still, we had a few games of pool (which I won overall, partly by luck), put some music on the jukebox, and had a fair bit to drunk.
I wasn't especially drunk or anything, and we got back not long after half-one, but I think drinking cider was a mistake as I soon felt very ill just before I went to bed..
I really didn't feel too good the next morning either... I was up reasonably early, and did a bit of exercise in the hope it would make me feel a little better. It did... for a bit, so then I had a sandwich, which made me feel really bad... But after a short lie-down of five minutes I felt really much better, and it was still early afternoon. I had the rest of the day then to recover... so I thought.
Just after tea, Neil showed up to my surprise. Then I suddenly remembered I was due to be going to the pub - it had totally slipped my mind! (The alcohol no doubt..!). So I got changed and freshened up and spent the rest of the evening down the pub with Rach, Neil and Claire. It was a nice enough evening I guess.
And that's about it really. Except I found out yesterday that I have an interview at Bristol Council next Friday - so I obviously passed the assessment I went to the other day. So that's cool, I'm not so good with interviews though but it's worth the shot anyway, I have nothing to lose! |
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| First update for over a month... |
[Jul. 8th, 2007|08:37 pm] |
Well, it seems the problems with the internet on my computer weren't to last for too much longer after I last posted here, as only a few days later my computer itself died and hasn't worked since! My mate reckons it's either the processor or motherboard, which I can't afford to fix just at the moment so I obviously haven't been able to get on the net much recently. Not that a great deal has happened since but looks like I'll have to resort to bullet points again and see if I can remember what I've been up to..
- My brother came back from the U.S. that weekend my computer broke, he was only back for a week though and half that time he was away seeing friends in Bristol and Oxford. It did slow down my looking for a job though, and I never really got much chance to get on this PC of my parents.
- Unsurprisingly, I am still out of work. I heard nothing back again on the Cambridge one and I've more or less given up on it. I have actually applied for a fair few places in the meantime, and I went to an assessment day just the other day (last Friday) for a benefits assessment job for Bristol Council. It seemed to go ok, hopefully I'll hear back by Wednesday/Thursday this week to find out if I have an interview or not.
- I have been out a fair few times the past few weeks:
- Went out with Dave 3 weeks ago (either the 15th/16th June), we were only out for a couple of hours down the Cabot but we caught up with Amy that went to our school and her friend, plus my brother and his friends were there, and just had a pretty nice evening there.
- Also went out the following Saturday, Wes was back in Weston for the weekend, as was Adam who I hadn't seen for over a year. So it was great to see them, and was really up for the night. And the night itself was going really well - started off in Bar4, then Yates', then went to Cabot. But then Adam and Wes really wanted to go to Vision, whilst I hated the idea - something about that place just really depresses me, and I have had so few half-decent nights there recently. But in the end I gave in and went with them, begrudgingly paid the extortionate £5 entry, and then almost immediately Adam and Wes went off into the RnB room. No chance I was going to follow, so I bought a drink and caught up with Dave. Most the night then was spent following Dave looking for the others, and when we finally made it to the dance floor we drunkenly danced for a couple of songs, then dave "ordered" that we should go off and find the others again. I was a bit annoyed and stayed, so dave was practically pulling me by my arm away from the dancefloor. That well and truly fucked me off that whenever I'm out with him that I'm always the one to concede to following Dave and doing whatever he wants to do. I showed my annoyance though, and when Dave told me I shouldn't be buying another drink I pretty much told him "what else is there to fucking do?". Which was kinda true, but in the end I disappeared off on my own, Adam and Dave left on their own texting me later to say they'd gone. I don't blame them for being annoyed with me, but at the same time I felt justified for feeling the way I did. I stayed for a little while longer then left on my own with the aim to walking home to save some cash. As I was heading back there were these people down by Tescos asking where they could get a taxi from. So I hailed them a taxi, and then agreed to share the taxi to split the cost. As it was though, the guy and girl buggered off without paying when they were dropped off first. Then this twat like bloke who lived all the way over on the bourneville was of the type who was only going to pay for how much it had been to there, rather than split the overall likely fare. So in the end it would have been fucking cheaper and quicker to have got a taxi by myself from town. At uni there was never any problems, but by the end of the night then I just wanted to get home and was pissed off with pretty much everyone.
Apologised to Dave though the next day, as is usual, and never mentioned it since, which is the best way I guess. Then we went out on the Friday the following week (last weekend), and had a reasonably good night again. Played a few drinking games round Dave's first which were a laugh, then went to Cabot. Was tipsy but not too drunk so it was all good.
Went out the day after, on the Saturday, this time with the old council lot. Also a good night, nothing too heavy - had a few at a local pub in town, then played a little pool in the Cabot sports bar before going upstairs to the main bar/club bit. Again I was tipsy but not too drunk.
Finally, I went out again last night - had a meal in town at an Italian restaurant for Claire's birthday. That was pretty nice, saw Kathryn C who I hadn't seen for a while, and her boyfriend. Had a pint then in Yates', before onto the Cabot once again. Felt really bloated after the meal, so the drink wasn't going down too well. Had quite a serious conversation with Rachel about things with Chloe and that, but I really needed to take time out from serious stuff to be honest. Everyone did seem a bit dispirited - our nights out aren't quite what they used to be, and that's a reflection of the changes in us I imagine. In the end though, Dave had left and then Rachel, Dan and Claire, leaving just Neil and myself. I bought us a shot each to cheer us up and it was a bit more enjoyable then. Met Heather from school by the bar - I'd not seen her since year 11, so it was really nice to catch up with her. Saw Kathryn E too, just before we left and walked home together and just chatted about stuff which was cool. It was pretty nice to get home reasonably early though, and not too drunk at all.
- Weather's been really crap recently - huge amounts of rain - I guess that's normal for June and July in Britain though! Especially over Wimbledon and Glastonbury Festival. Still, at least we're not underwater like most of Yorkshire...! Yesterday was probably the first sunny day for weeks, and was reasonably ok but it's supposed to get crap again soon. Not good.
- Been watching Wimbledon a fair bit for the last couple of weeks - love a good bit of tennis. Was the final today - Federer won a fifth time eventually after a 5 set game against Nadal. Very happy to see him do it though.
- We have a new prime minister! Mr Gordon Brown. Really didn't like the prospect of him becoming PM before but have just been quite interested to see how he does now. Have followed it all quite closely, some interesting changes in the cabinet. And only a couple of days after officially being sworn in, there was a failed terrorist attacks in London and Glasgow for him to deal with, luckily nobody was badly harmed except the terrorists themselves. When will they learn that especially in the UK even if they were successful they will do nothing for their so called "cause". Londoners have been through the blitz from Nazi bombers, many IRA bomb attempts. Some idiotic fundamentalists are hardly going to do any better I don't think. Twats.
- I have read another couple of Orwell books - Burmese Days and A Clergyman's Daughter, both excellent books in their own right. I still have just the one more Orwell novel to read that I'll no doubt get through soon.
I feel pretty good today, which is good, because I've been on a bit of a long downer for the past few weeks that I've been trying to get out of. Hopefully I can carry this on into this week! |
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| Technology is shit |
[Jun. 7th, 2007|04:12 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | blog | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crap, stressed | ] |
Why is it that everything's always so unreliable so much of the time? I thought I had managed to sort out the problems with our internet the other day, but apparently not because it's been getting progressively worse again to the point where today I haven't been able to use the net on my own computer much at all. Which is a problem when I'm trying to appy for jobs and what have you, I just can't concentrate down there. It's really pissing me off, it's only by chance I managed to load this up now, and no doubt when I come to post this it'll have gone again!
The past couple of days haven't been much better, I don't know why, I've just been feeling really tired, and therefore a bit stressed and a bit down to go with it. There has been some good news though, today I finally heard back from the recruitment agency about the job they put me forward to - they just wanted to ask me something about my former employment. It's looking like I'll be given a telephone interview with them, which is great. But then again there's another negative point, besides my crapness in interviews. My voice still isn't very good at all, and I feel like it constantly needs to be cleared to be able to talk properly, and recently it's been quite annoying when talking on the phone in particular. I probably should see a doctor about it, but it's been like this for years, getting better and worse periodically, so I doubt they'll be able to do much for it. Maybe I just need to get a couple of decent nights' sleep and cut back on the alcohol which probably doesn't do it too many favours.
And if I do get the interview I just know I bet it'll be at a difficult time of day when everyone's running about the house. As if I don't have enough to be so self-conscious about.
I knew the positivity of the weekend wouldn't last. |
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| A good day |
[Jun. 4th, 2007|11:49 pm] |
Today didn't start off the greatest of days - my net connection still wasn't working so that was a bit frustrating as it kept timing out as soon as I was trying to do anything. Plus my mum was cleaning the bathroom so didn't get to have a shower 'til just before lunch, which messed up my job hunting plans a bit more.
I managed to sort out the net connection though, and managed to get a good level of exercise done too which was cool. And I've not felt so tired today either which makes a nice change. Feels like things have started to go my way a little, just hoping it lasts!
Watched a pretty good programme about the first world war, presented by Peter Snow. It's the first in a short series so it'll be good to get into the rest of them. And then afterwards an old epidose of Have I Got News For You was on, followed by Not Going Out on BBC1 which capped off a decent night of telly - which also makes a nice change! |
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| Great weekend! |
[Jun. 3rd, 2007|10:33 pm] |
This weekend has been the best I've had in a good long while, and at times I actually felt really happy, an emotion I've not experienced all that much in recent times.
Friday was quite good, Dave's friend John came down from Aylesbury to stay over for the weekend, so I dropped by Dave's after tea with a few beers and we watched the footie (England vs Brazil - the first national at the new Wembley) and then played on the Xbox/PS2 into the late hours. We drank quite a lot though, especially when John started serving out the whiskey. It was quite surreal then watching some kind of police chase programme on sky, and then I don't really remember going to bed. I think I was pretty out of it then, which wasn't too wise, but it didn't matter too much and there was no harm done.
Felt the effects of the alcohol the next day though, and my sleep that night was pretty disturbed so I woke up with a sharp headache, slightly nauseous and pretty damn tired. I dropped home for a bit for some food and a change of clothes, then went out for a drive with Dave and John. The food I'd had back at home had perked me up a bit, but began to feel a bit worse for wear in the back of Dave's fiesta so I was pretty relieved when we got to his parents' new house and the chance to get out in the air. I'd not seen it before - it's a small place up on the hill overlooking Sand Bay. The view from the balcony was just out of this world though, really spectacular. You can see right across the bay, as well as Clevedon to the East, and even Newport and Cardiff across the water. It was a glorious day too, making up for the crappy weather we've had recently, and there was just something about standing there with that view, I actually didn't want to leave. But leave we did, driving on round to the less peaceful side of the hill to Weston seafront. After a quick look round the shops on the high street, we headed to the pier.
I've always said we never really appreciate living here as much as we should, but when we have someone along from out of town who doesn't know Weston it's almost like being on holiday ourselves. It was really great fun on the pier, playing on the arcade machines, the 2p machines, and a quick round of ten-pin skittles. As to be expected on a sunny Saturday in June, there were people everywhere, but rather than just being "annoying tourists" it just added to the whole enjoyment of the day and the holiday atmosphere. It was a really good laugh.
In the evening we went to see the manics, something I was quite looking forward to. It didn't disappoint either, they were on really good form and one of the few times I was actually able to "lose myself" in the gig without alcohol. A natural high, so to speak. I don't think I've jumped quite so much through a gig since the first Bloc Party gig at the start of the third year at uni.
The set-list:
You Love Us
Imperial Bodybags
Motorcycle Emptiness
I Am Just A Patsy
Faster
La Tristesse Durera
Send Away The Tigers
Everything Must Go
From Despair to Where
Winterlovers
Born To End
Ocean Spray
Your Love Alone Is Not Enough
If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next
Small Black Flowers (acoustic)
Let Robeson Sing (acoustic)
Stay Beautiful
Sleepflower
Autumnsong
You Stole The Sun From My Heart
Little Baby Nothing
Condemned to Rock and Roll into Motown Junk
A Design For Life
Particular highlights were Imperial Bodybags, I Am Just A Patsy, the three songs from Gold Against The Soul, and probably my favourite performance of the night was If You Tolerate This.. - which had always slightly been disappointing the other times I've seen them. At the end Nicky Wire was skipping on the stage with a rope, and swinging round the fluffy tiger (in reference to the new album - Send Away The Tigers!), and there was just a generally great mood about having seen a great band give a great performance.
We were due to go out afterwards in Weston, but we didn't get back to Dave's until half-eleven or so, so neither Dave or John wanted to go mainly through tiredness. Which was fair enough, though I was really up for it and had promised Neil and Rach we'd see them out. So I felt really bad then at letting them know we weren't going after all, but then it wasn't just me so I can't take the blame. There wasn't really any way I could have gone out that wouldn't have meant costing a fortune on taxis, or made it a really late night, so I resigned to the fact it wasn't to be. I stayed over at Dave's, and got a pretty good night's sleep.
Today's been quite good too, Dave dropped me back at 11am, and I've been in quite a good mood since. Finished reading Orwell's novel Coming Up For Air, some 3 years after having started it! It's one book I never got round to finishing it, so made it a priority once I finished Crime and Punishment. I've read 6 books so far this year, which isn't bad going for me.
My internet's being really slow and crap today, and every few minutes it ceases to work at all. I'm not sure why, might be the router. But I hope it sorts itself out soon because it's really, really annoying.
Going to watch a bit of TV, then really should go to bed soon. |
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| Job search and stuff |
[May. 30th, 2007|01:00 pm] |
The bank holiday on Monday has meant my week has been a bit slow starting - it shouldn't make any difference to me, but with my Dad and everyone off work it just disrupts my own schedules and means I can't concentrate on the things I need to - mainly, getting a job.
Yesterday was a little more successful, but there was hardly any suitable jobs that I could find to apply for. And today I had huge plans, which were actually coming to fruition, until I was told that my auntie was going to come round. And she's been here since, which has really thrown me off course. I know it's nobody's fault but mine, but it really frustrates me living at home where other people's plans (mainly those regarding my parents) can really get in the way. I had been doing my bout of early morning exercise but that had to come to an premature end, and that's just thrown my whole fucking motivation off course, and I can't really phone up about the jobs I want to either until this afternoon when there's a bit of peace in the house.
Like I said, I don't blame anyone but myself, but I just feel really frustrated. The weather's crap outside again too which just makes me feel more miserable. |
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| Rovers are promoted! |
[May. 30th, 2007|12:54 pm] |
So I went up to the new Wembley on Saturday, and what a day it was! Rovers won the game 3-1, which means next year they'll be playing in League One with the likes of Leeds United and Notts Forest!
Caught the chartered train from Weston to London Paddington - it was over an hour late, but that didn't actually make much difference as it just meant I had less time to burn in London before the game. So once in Paddington it was simple enough to get to Wembley Park tube station - well, I say simple, but it's quite amusing how quickly a whole trainload of Bristolians get stumped upon which tube line to head for once we reached the underground system!
None of the trains were that busy, and as soon as you leave the station you can see the stadium and "Wembley Way" that leads right up to it. It wasn't too busy when I got there, so I walked around a bit, right round the stadium (which is pretty impressive) and had some lunch too. Then as time reached 1pm I headed into the station, and after having a pint at the bar I took my seat in the stand.
My seat was literally in the very back row at the top of the stand! So it's fair to say I was pretty high in relation to the pitch, but the view was pretty good, although maybe not quite as good as it had been at the millenium stadium last month in Cardiff. The game itself was quite nerve-racking. Shrewsbury scored within the first three minutes, and everyone started comparing it to the start in the millenium stadium when we also conceded straight off. Fortunately they didn't concede again though, and Richard Walker scored for Rovers soon after with a great goal knocked in from a cross. That was quite a relief, and was made even better when he scored again some minutes later with a more spectacular lob over the keeper!
It remained at 2-1 for most the rest of the game, although Shrewsbury were having the better of the play as they were looking to equalise. They had a player sent off just minutes before the end after a rash challenge, but the game climaxed in the final minutes of the game when Shrewsbury had a corner. They brought everybody forward for it to try get the goal they needed, including their keeper. But the ball was knocked clear by Rovers, falling to Igoe who started running toward the empty goal at the other end, pursued by Shrewsbury players. He seemed to tire as he was getting nearer, and thought he'd blown it when the Shrewsbury player caught up with him, but Igoe managed to get a shot in that was headed straight for the goal. I was certain it was going to go in, but then the ball started getting slower and slower and all the while it was being chased by a Shrewsbury player. The crowd seemed to go really quiet, and the whole thing seemed to last much longer than the few seconds it actually did, but the ball trickled across the line and that was the point we knew we had won promotion and just everyone in the crowd, some 40,000 rovers fans just went mad! It was so amazing to be there, the whole atmosphere and singing the club song Goodnight Irene, it was fantastic!
I stayed then while they went on and got the trophy and paraded around in front us fans, just celebrating along with everyone else. Eventually people started to head out the stadium so I followed, and although it had started to rain outside nobody was particularly complaining! It took a while to get back to Paddington, and I'll never forget being on the tube train there full of Rovers fans singing Ring of Fire all the way, just a whole party atmosphere spreading away from the stadium!
I can't wait now until next season starts, hopefully I will get to see some more games next time round, and would be great if they can stay up. Unfortunately Yeovil couldn't do the same on the Sunday, losing out 2-0 to Blackpool so they will be staying in League one and playing Rovers. But it's been a fantastic year for local teams - City, Rovers, Swindon all getting promoted, Yeovil very nearly doing the same, and Cheltenham escaping relegation. Good stuff. |
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| Liverpool lost |
[May. 24th, 2007|01:13 am] |
Ok I didn't really get up to a lot today. I watched the Champion's League final at home, to see Liverpool lose to AC Milan, which I thought they would though they did in actual fact have the better of the possesion.
I've had a few drinks, I'm not that tipsy but I am a bit. I really want to write a poem of what's in my head, but at the moment it's so messed up I've found it's not really going to work. For a start I haven't been able to work out if I even feel quite depressed or quite optimistic - it seems a total mix of the two and so total confusion on my part. So the poem isn't looking to materialise. |
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| Organised my transport |
[May. 23rd, 2007|12:16 am] |
Decided quite late last night that it was probably best to book a ticket on the chartered train down on Saturday - it costs a hefty £50, but I'm guaranteed a seat then as I can imagine the normal trains will be packed especially with Shrewsbury fans heading from the same direction. So I didn't go to town in the end after all.
Didn't really sleep again last night - was still awake at gone 4am yet again, it's not good. So was somewhat more tired today, and my voice seems to go a bit when I'm tired too which is pretty annoying.
Spent most of today applying for a job at Bristol Council - I will be genuinely quite annoyed if I don't even get an interview on this one, I spent ages on the form and wrote about every little thing they wanted me too so I don't see why I shouldn't at least be considered. I meant to apply for lots more but because this one took so long I didn't really have the chance to. I so badly want a job now. |
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| I'm going to Wembley!! |
[May. 21st, 2007|11:36 pm] |
After an amazing 5-3 away win at Lincoln in the play-off semi second leg, Rovers are due to play at the brand new Wembley this Saturday! After a lot of deliberating (It's a lot of money I could do without spending), I decided that if they did win promotion there I then would regret it. And even if they don't win, it is a chance to see the brand new Wembley in one of the first games there, less than 2 months after being opened. There have been huge problems with the ticket booking over the weekend, but fortunately I managed to get a ticket earlier today, literally hours before they all sold out! I still need to sort out travel, but come Saturday I will be sat high up in the brand new stadium which is looking absolutely fantastic. I will have to take a camera and get some photos!
Not only that, but on Friday I watched Yeovil actually manage to get through to their final too, despite being 2-0 down to Notts Forest after their home leg. I watched it at Dave's with Gary also, and with 10 minutes to go the score was 1-1 with Yeovil looking to crash out, only for them to score twice to bring the game to extra-time! We definitely all cheered when Yeovil's third went in, it was amazing. Then at the beginning of extra-time they scored again, although Forest equalised minutes later. But before the end Yeovil scored a fifth, meaning they won the whole tie on aggregate of 5-4, the score at 5-2 on the night. So they will play Wembley on the Sunday, the day after Rovers. If money was no option I would stay over and take in both games, but I think that would bankrupt me!
To cap off a football-intensive weekend, I went round Steven's on the Saturday to watch the FA cup final - Chelsea vs Manchester United. It was a very dull game, truly dreadful when compared with Rovers and Yeovil's thrillers just days before. Eventually Chelsea won with what was a pretty good Drogba goal, but it was a bit of a relief when the game came to an end. We then got some pizzas (Steven lives literally a few doors away from Domino's), before heading to the Regency pub where we met Rob and spent the rest of the evening playing a bit of pool. I had only 2 pints there, and then we departed at about half-eleven, which I was kinda pleased with because I wanted to avoid spending more money if we ended up going up town.
I felt a bit down when I got back, I'm not sure why, things just got to me a bit. I didn't really feel all that sociable while we were out however much I wanted to be, and I was probably a bit withdrawn even by my standards. I don't think the beer really helped although I was hardly at the point of becoming even tipsy.
Yesterday was quite good, I managed to find the time to relax a bit and gather my thoughts which I probably needed to do. It sounds quite strange, but I think the fact that my parents had cleared the mess from the lounge that had been there while they sorted out my brother's room. It just seemed to make me more stressed, I find I'm that much calmer when my environment is tidy. It was especially apparent on Friday evening before I went to watch the footie at Dave's, I was snapping at my mum about the mess and everything. I think the worst bit is that I didn't have the control over it, if the mess was of my own making I wouldn't feel so stressed, but being put out by somebody else's sorting just messed me up a bit. I think that's another sign that I really can't do with living here much longer. Although I'm going to have to..
Today has been good too, I didn't sleep that well so didn't get up til about 11am, but I tidied my room quite majorly for the same reasons that it would make me feel a bit better. Then I bought my ticket, which cheered me up even more, and then spent a good bit of time on the job hunt - part of my allowing myself to get the ticket is that I really step up on that.
I've been a bit more tense this evening, I'm not sure why. Maybe because I've been having a drink most nights recently, and I haven't tonight...
Want to get up early tomorrow again, maybe go to town to sort out travel for Saturday but not sure if that's going to happen yet. But I can't wait til Saturday now! |
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matthew674's journal
lazy
tired
unsure
ecstatic
frustrated